On Tuesday evening we looked at forgiveness with the youth group at CYFA. In Matthew 18 we find the telling of the parable of the unmerciful servant. In some ways this is a quite disturbing story which raises one or two interesting questions.

Forgiveness is a big theme of Christianity. As Christians we know that we need to continually come to God and ask for His forgiveness for the things that are wrong in our lives. This forgiveness comes through the death of Jesus Christ and comes free of charge, no strings attached, all we need do is to ask. But is it really that simple?

We read in Matthew 18 that forgiven servant, who did not in turn forgive, had his own forgiveness revoke and was made to repay his debt. But more than that he was tortured for it. Then comes the wake up call to all Christians in verse 35.

“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.”

Of course this shouldnââ?¬â?¢t be a new thing to us. In the ‘Lords Prayer’ we have a similar theme.

“ââ?¬Â¦Forgive us our sins, as we forgive those who sin against usââ?¬Â¦”

So what is this all about? Is the unconditional forgiveness of God conditional after all?

Jesus seems to be quite explicit that if we are to receive the Fathers forgiveness we need to forgive others also. And surely, when you think about it, that makes perfect sense. For, to not forgive somebody would be a sin, which we would then have to repent of. Repentance is not just coming to God and saying sorry, it is the active decision to turn around what we are doing, to turn back to God, to do all we can to not do that very thing again. God cannot forgive us for something of which we have not repented. And if we haven�t decided to not do that thing again (or at least try) then we have not repented. So the only way to receive forgiveness for un-forgiveness is to repent of it. And the only way to repent of un-forgiveness includes the desire to forgive.

This is why, when we have un-forgiveness in our lives, we find it harder to connect with God. It forms a barrier. Un-forgiveness will slowly eat away at us. It only damages us, as the person we haven�t forgiven will usually be unaware.

But God realises that forgiveness isn’t easy. And we need to realise that it isn’t instant. Forgiving somebody is always a journey, and sometimes itââ?¬â?¢s a long journey. It starts with a choice. We need to want to forgive.

I have found in my life that the best practical way to forgive people is to pray for them. But more than that, to pray blessing on them. Over time God will soften our hearts for that person, but it may take a long time. Forgiveness is not an emotional reaction; it is not something we can do when we feel like we are able to forgive. We need to choose to take the first step.

This is what God means when he asks us to forgive others so we can receive his forgiveness. We need to be willing, even when we really don’t want to, to take the decision to embark on the journey of forgiveness.