I was watching an american TV programme the other day called ‘Wife-swap’. In this programme they take two couples from completely different backgrounds and swap the mums over for a period of two weeks. During the first week the families continue as normal with the swapped mum having to fit into the routine of the family they have swapped in to. In the second week, the new mum gets to make up rules and the family has to do things the new way. All makes very interesting watching, as I am sure you can imagine…
This week, the two families involved were a Christian family from the bible belt in Oklahoma and a gay couple from Washington DC. The gay family consisted of two men and they had two daughters and so one of the men swapped with the wife of the family from Oklahoma. As soon as I saw the families involved my heart started to sink a little. I don’t think that TV does Christianity many favours at the best of times – and from the outset I started to wonder how these people would be portrayed.
The program was very interesting, but at the same time pretty shocking. The first thing that shocked me was the reaction of the husband of the family in Oklahoma and the people in his town – a very ‘traditional Christian’ man who seemed really uncomfortable even talking to a homosexual man in his house. The husband told the camera that “…there would be a lot of hatred towards the gay man…” and when he sought counsel from his church friends they advised him to “treat him like a leper”.
I may not be a bible expert, but there are two things that come to mind when I think more about this situation. Firstly, Jesus came and preached that the most important things to do while living on the earth was to love God and love other people as you love yourself. I don’t know anyone who treats themselves like a ‘leper’ and so therefore it pains me when another Christian can say such things about another human being.
I guess, if we asked the Christian friend about his advice he would answer that his response is firmly grounded in scripture – namely the passage in Matthew 18 where it instructs us about what to do with someone who refuses to stop sinning:
“Moreover if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, you have gained your brother. But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that ââ?¬Ë?by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.ââ?¬â?¢ And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector.”
At a first glance of this you can understand his viewpoint entirely – the bible clearly says we should treat people who continue to sin like an outcast. But this all gets put into perspective when we remember how Jesus treated such people when He walked the earth. Why he ate with them and stayed in their house, he spoke into their lives – moreover, He loved them and while I am sure He wanted them to stop sinning, His priority was loving them.
The programme ended with the Christian lady starting to understand this – and the gay husband was pleased that “…a little seed had been planted in her heart…”. While I think this is a good thing for her, that she was able to love these people for who they were rather than focussing on what they were doing wrong, it seems a real shame that the purpose of her trip was to realise that fact! I mean wouldn’t it have been amazing for the seed to have been planted the other way – for the family that she stayed with understand a little bit more how much God loves them??
It seems to me that while it may be difficult not to stereo-type people and put them into boxes and treating them accordingly, it is totally not what Jesus did! He accepted everyone, no matter where they came from and what they did (check this out). This is a great challenge to me as the people who I often put into boxes like this are simply in the box because they are different. This doesn’t have to refer to people who lead a lifestyle which I completely dis-agree with but can also refer to people who do things I don’t like, say things I wouldn’t say and act in ways I would not. It’s time I stopped looking at people through human eyes, but through the eyes of Jesus – who was in my opinion a complete genius at focussing on the needs of people and the things that mattered, rather than the things I think are oh so important.
